There are so many emotions running through me … to name a few; emptiness, anger, loneliness, fear, and frustration. Out of these the two main emotions I’m experiencing is emptiness and fear. Both of these emotions feels as though I’ve been gutted out and all that’s left is an empty shell of a man. A bit dramatic, nonetheless it's how I feel.

Yesterday, I meet with my Urologist and we went over all the reports from the E.R. In his opinion he believes with what facts we do have that I have an 85% chance of having a cancerous tumor in my bladder. However, he wants to wait till he can go in and view the tumor, as well as get a biopsy which will happen next Tuesday morning. Course, how they have to go in is quit another story ... have to say it was knee crossing. If you've ever had a catheter inserted then you know how it feels. Anyway, the doctor assured me that I would feel no pain since I will be asleep throughout the procedure ... thank God!

Thankfully, I did not have to go to my Urologist appointment alone. My friend, George, took the time to accompany me and it was good to have a friend there cause I certainly did not want to begin this journey alone. So to you, George, thank you!

This morning when I urinated, the bleeding has returned … not as bad, but it’s definitely coming back. And last but not least, while at work it was difficult for me to concentrate. However, I'm glad I chose to not stay home.

Until Tomorrow …