Last week my buddy and I went to Wilmington, NC for the day. This get-a-way is the first we've been able to have in three years.
That evening I read his Facebook page comment; “Had A Great Day”. He didn’t even as much as mention anything about having a great day with a friend/buddy or anything about being in Wilmington. It was as if I and Wilmington wasn’t a part of his “Great Day”.
A couple of day’s later my buddy announces on his Facebook page that he couldn’t wait to see his friend … exact quote; “wedding done … I can’t wait to see my friend”.
Not once has my “Buddy” as much as mention or refer to me on his Facebook page. But he was all about announcing his delight over his other “friend”. Perhaps, if I was worth acknowledging then maybe I would at least gotten a nod of some kind. Well, I guess I'm expecting to much?
The other morning I was going to surprise my buddy by showing up at his house just to cuddle with him for a bit before heading into work. Since I didn’t see his car in the driveway I went on to work and text him telling him about my unannounced intension thinking that he would be pleasantly grateful. Well, he was, but not as grateful as I thought he would be.
Yesterday afternoon I was informed to never stop by his house unannounced/uninvited. With great deal of reservation, I promised that I would never do so again.
My thought. Am I chop liver? WTF am I doing? Is my buddy so embarrassed of me that he can’t even acknowledge that I exist? Evidently not!?!
Honestly, I’m not looking for any kind of open door policy or public acknowledgment about us. I completely understand his fears about our relationship. Furthermore, what we have privately isn’t anyone’s business but ours. But c-o-m-e on!
Honestly, his fears and unfairness is of great concern to me … it’s like he doesn’t trust me to conduct myself as an adult with common sense. And I find this totally unreasonable. Sometimes it feels as though he's pushing me back into the closet and slamming the door behind him.
That evening I read his Facebook page comment; “Had A Great Day”. He didn’t even as much as mention anything about having a great day with a friend/buddy or anything about being in Wilmington. It was as if I and Wilmington wasn’t a part of his “Great Day”.
A couple of day’s later my buddy announces on his Facebook page that he couldn’t wait to see his friend … exact quote; “wedding done … I can’t wait to see my friend”.
Not once has my “Buddy” as much as mention or refer to me on his Facebook page. But he was all about announcing his delight over his other “friend”. Perhaps, if I was worth acknowledging then maybe I would at least gotten a nod of some kind. Well, I guess I'm expecting to much?
The other morning I was going to surprise my buddy by showing up at his house just to cuddle with him for a bit before heading into work. Since I didn’t see his car in the driveway I went on to work and text him telling him about my unannounced intension thinking that he would be pleasantly grateful. Well, he was, but not as grateful as I thought he would be.
Yesterday afternoon I was informed to never stop by his house unannounced/uninvited. With great deal of reservation, I promised that I would never do so again.
My thought. Am I chop liver? WTF am I doing? Is my buddy so embarrassed of me that he can’t even acknowledge that I exist? Evidently not!?!
Honestly, I’m not looking for any kind of open door policy or public acknowledgment about us. I completely understand his fears about our relationship. Furthermore, what we have privately isn’t anyone’s business but ours. But c-o-m-e on!
Honestly, his fears and unfairness is of great concern to me … it’s like he doesn’t trust me to conduct myself as an adult with common sense. And I find this totally unreasonable. Sometimes it feels as though he's pushing me back into the closet and slamming the door behind him.
My thing is this ... Be fair with me! I mean, really! If he was involved with any other guy I know for a fact that most would not put up with him … they would tell him to go screw himself. I mean, fair is fair! If I’m not going to be treated equally ... Houston, we have a problem!
As for our get-a-way to Wilmington ... Honestly, as much as I enjoyed it, I, in some strange bizarre way, wished it never took place, simply because I was not, it seems, an inclusive part of his day. In my opinion, his Facebook post for that day was "all about him" and it made me feel like I wasn't important and contributing part of it.
As for being "Friends" ... I do question if it's worth continuing. But deep down in my soul I couldn't think of not having him in my life, cause even with all of his imperfections and idiosyncrasies, I genuinely do care and love the man.
As for being "Friends" ... I do question if it's worth continuing. But deep down in my soul I couldn't think of not having him in my life, cause even with all of his imperfections and idiosyncrasies, I genuinely do care and love the man.
Until Tomorrow ...
Revised 01/04/11
If your friend is that embarrassed of you then why in the fuck are you with this guy? Get out bro before he puts you into the loony tune hospital.
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