Yes, yesterdays posting of my New Years Resolution was rather poignant. However, it wasn’t meant to be taken personally. Its just that my social life is so out of whack. I seem to surround myself with individuals who, in the long run, think that all I am is someone who must play by their rules in order to be kept as a "friend". If I don’t act, do, say or think as they think I should then I’m the bad guy thus my life becomes a living hell or I end up on the “lets not be friends anymore” list. Well, I’m sick and tired of those who judge my character as less than perfect because I don’t comply to their expectations. Damn it, I'm really a good guy and I would give the shirt off my back to anyone of my Friends. But, unfortunately there are those who don't see me in the same light as I do.
I admit that I use to hung out with some pretty unsavory individuals. More often than not, the association wasn’t emotionally healthy. Therefore, in the past couple of years I’ve taken up the task of distancing myself from most all of the unsavories. In doing so, my quality of life has drastically improved ... so has my emotional state of being. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t regret this move one bit! However, since situations have popped up where certain "friends " have expected me to play by their rules and if I don't my association either becomes a living hell or it comes to a grinding halt.
In the past few years, I have learned a great deal about expectations … Having them for myself is one thing, but having them for others, well let me tell ya, it can sure be a headache in a half. Having expectations of others will only lead to a life of perpetual disappointments and heartbreaks, and who in hell wants this type of life? Certainly not me! Yup, lesson learned! And because of the lesson learned, I’ve finally came to the point where I am finished being disappointed and hurt because I don't live up to their expectations. A friendship that is self-serving and selfish simply does not work and definitely will not last ... thus far, the proof has been in the pudding.
The only person of whom I can have any sort of expectation is none other than, me! … No one else! And that’s what being friends is all about … accepting them on their level without any expectation ... specially unreasonable expectations. We all give on a level that is comfortable to each and to expect someone to give more than they are willing too or capable of will only leave you feeling empty. Trust me, I know! I've been there.
The eight New Years Resolution’s I’ve listed encompasses key areas where I gave more of myself than I should and I finally came to the point where I’m exhausted of giving and still it not be enough, thus landing me on the “lets not be friends anymore” list. Therefore, I decided it was time to change my strategy … give only in the amount it is given, do only in the amount it is done, be only when necessary, speak the truth, refrain from associating with those who are not a positive influence … in other wards, unto mine own self be true! Maybe, just maybe, my life can be whole again.
I hope this cleared things up a bit as to why I was so poignant. Like I said, it wasn’t meant to be taken personally … it’s just my laundry list of how I want to achieve more balance in my social life by surrounding myself with those who will be uplifting rather than being excess baggage. And to this end, I believe I have a good start as I enter 2011.
Until Tomorrow ...
I admit that I use to hung out with some pretty unsavory individuals. More often than not, the association wasn’t emotionally healthy. Therefore, in the past couple of years I’ve taken up the task of distancing myself from most all of the unsavories. In doing so, my quality of life has drastically improved ... so has my emotional state of being. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t regret this move one bit! However, since situations have popped up where certain "friends " have expected me to play by their rules and if I don't my association either becomes a living hell or it comes to a grinding halt.
In the past few years, I have learned a great deal about expectations … Having them for myself is one thing, but having them for others, well let me tell ya, it can sure be a headache in a half. Having expectations of others will only lead to a life of perpetual disappointments and heartbreaks, and who in hell wants this type of life? Certainly not me! Yup, lesson learned! And because of the lesson learned, I’ve finally came to the point where I am finished being disappointed and hurt because I don't live up to their expectations. A friendship that is self-serving and selfish simply does not work and definitely will not last ... thus far, the proof has been in the pudding.
The only person of whom I can have any sort of expectation is none other than, me! … No one else! And that’s what being friends is all about … accepting them on their level without any expectation ... specially unreasonable expectations. We all give on a level that is comfortable to each and to expect someone to give more than they are willing too or capable of will only leave you feeling empty. Trust me, I know! I've been there.
The eight New Years Resolution’s I’ve listed encompasses key areas where I gave more of myself than I should and I finally came to the point where I’m exhausted of giving and still it not be enough, thus landing me on the “lets not be friends anymore” list. Therefore, I decided it was time to change my strategy … give only in the amount it is given, do only in the amount it is done, be only when necessary, speak the truth, refrain from associating with those who are not a positive influence … in other wards, unto mine own self be true! Maybe, just maybe, my life can be whole again.
I hope this cleared things up a bit as to why I was so poignant. Like I said, it wasn’t meant to be taken personally … it’s just my laundry list of how I want to achieve more balance in my social life by surrounding myself with those who will be uplifting rather than being excess baggage. And to this end, I believe I have a good start as I enter 2011.
Until Tomorrow ...
No comments:
Post a Comment