Whatever Happened To Real Communications?
I have a friend who’s voice I rarely hear unless we’re together in the flesh. If they cannot text or email me I would probably never hear from them. I don’t care, call me old fashioned! But I personally feel that communicating with someone by solely texting or emailing is impersonal and shows a lack of respect for the receiver. Yes, texting and emailing are conveniences of our time and they are useful tools. But, in this day and age, these tools have pretty much shut down personal interaction and meaningful conversations, and the more we use them eventually social interaction will go by the wayside much like letter writing and eye to eye contact has become the thing of the past.
No, I am not saying that I don’t use texting or emailing as a way of communicating with my friends and acquaintances. Like most everyone, I utilize these two conveniences and do so more than I probably should. However, recently I have decided to curtail my use of these two forms of communicating because of the emptiness and shallowness I feel following these kinds of exchanges. There is nothing like enjoying visual contact and listening to vocalized words over electronically written thoughts. Seeing ones facial expression and/or hearing ones voice inflexions has more meaning to a conversation and allows more intimacy into the time spent talking to one another.
I have found that when you remove personal contact and social interaction life becomes pretty empty and shallow. Course, now days, shallow is more of a fashion statement than not. Nonetheless, being denied or not having personal interaction can become very lonely, even to the point of becoming anti-social. Much like the computer has replaced live social interaction, texting and emailing too is quickly, if not already, doing the same. And many hide behind these devices, using them as a kind of clocking mechanism or wall to prevent personal or intimate interaction.
Remember my friend I was telling you about, well, they use electronic messaging for almost every form of communication. How do I know this? Phone bills! With cell phone use every call, text, and email is recorded. So, like I have nothing better to do, one day I decided to see for myself how we were communicating with each other. Was I surprised as to what I found? Not really! But it did tell me a great deal.
In a three month period, I received two data transmissions and ten phone calls. During this same period, I received three hundred text messages … thank god I have unlimited texting on my cell service!
More recently, I’ve been keeping track of my friend’s texting and emailing habits, particularly focusing on the types of messages they send. No, I don’t save their messages. Instead, I have been keeping a check list on which I categorize the types of messages they send and my reaction to them. In doing this I have found the 85% of the messages received from my friend is not open ended. They leave no room for a response and usually they don’t want one. It is direct and final! Should I respond, I typically will never get a reply. And if I question them or make a statement, it is generally ignored.
As for my feelings following some exchanges between us … lack of substance, worth, empty, and cold ... one sided! It’s like the conversation, if you can call it that, didn’t happen in which case no message would have been better than any. To take this a step further, I also find that our live interaction is pretty much the same.
Now does this put our relationship in jeopardy? No! My friend is a good human being. Has a lot of issues … then again who doesn’t. And at times very impersonal. Nonetheless, a good person. However, it does present a problem. Since I am more of a person to person kind of guy, having this mechanical relationship is putting a strain on our interaction and it makes me rather uncomfortable relating to them.
As for a solution? Well, I don’t know if there is one or if there ever will be one. But one thing I do know, I don't enjoy the empty feelings and emotional shallowness following many of our mechanical conversations. So here's my thing, where possible, I am going to do my part in curtailing the sole use of texting and emailing in order to keep in touch with anyone. I am hungry for real, one on one, face to face, voice to voice social interaction and I am going to re-establish this interaction by limiting my mechanical words on a screen. Its time for me to get back to real interpersonal live communication … to reach out and touch someone with real and personal interaction which will help in boosting my feeling of self worth and simplifying my emotional life in general.
I have a friend who’s voice I rarely hear unless we’re together in the flesh. If they cannot text or email me I would probably never hear from them. I don’t care, call me old fashioned! But I personally feel that communicating with someone by solely texting or emailing is impersonal and shows a lack of respect for the receiver. Yes, texting and emailing are conveniences of our time and they are useful tools. But, in this day and age, these tools have pretty much shut down personal interaction and meaningful conversations, and the more we use them eventually social interaction will go by the wayside much like letter writing and eye to eye contact has become the thing of the past.
No, I am not saying that I don’t use texting or emailing as a way of communicating with my friends and acquaintances. Like most everyone, I utilize these two conveniences and do so more than I probably should. However, recently I have decided to curtail my use of these two forms of communicating because of the emptiness and shallowness I feel following these kinds of exchanges. There is nothing like enjoying visual contact and listening to vocalized words over electronically written thoughts. Seeing ones facial expression and/or hearing ones voice inflexions has more meaning to a conversation and allows more intimacy into the time spent talking to one another.
I have found that when you remove personal contact and social interaction life becomes pretty empty and shallow. Course, now days, shallow is more of a fashion statement than not. Nonetheless, being denied or not having personal interaction can become very lonely, even to the point of becoming anti-social. Much like the computer has replaced live social interaction, texting and emailing too is quickly, if not already, doing the same. And many hide behind these devices, using them as a kind of clocking mechanism or wall to prevent personal or intimate interaction.
Remember my friend I was telling you about, well, they use electronic messaging for almost every form of communication. How do I know this? Phone bills! With cell phone use every call, text, and email is recorded. So, like I have nothing better to do, one day I decided to see for myself how we were communicating with each other. Was I surprised as to what I found? Not really! But it did tell me a great deal.
In a three month period, I received two data transmissions and ten phone calls. During this same period, I received three hundred text messages … thank god I have unlimited texting on my cell service!
More recently, I’ve been keeping track of my friend’s texting and emailing habits, particularly focusing on the types of messages they send. No, I don’t save their messages. Instead, I have been keeping a check list on which I categorize the types of messages they send and my reaction to them. In doing this I have found the 85% of the messages received from my friend is not open ended. They leave no room for a response and usually they don’t want one. It is direct and final! Should I respond, I typically will never get a reply. And if I question them or make a statement, it is generally ignored.
As for my feelings following some exchanges between us … lack of substance, worth, empty, and cold ... one sided! It’s like the conversation, if you can call it that, didn’t happen in which case no message would have been better than any. To take this a step further, I also find that our live interaction is pretty much the same.
Now does this put our relationship in jeopardy? No! My friend is a good human being. Has a lot of issues … then again who doesn’t. And at times very impersonal. Nonetheless, a good person. However, it does present a problem. Since I am more of a person to person kind of guy, having this mechanical relationship is putting a strain on our interaction and it makes me rather uncomfortable relating to them.
As for a solution? Well, I don’t know if there is one or if there ever will be one. But one thing I do know, I don't enjoy the empty feelings and emotional shallowness following many of our mechanical conversations. So here's my thing, where possible, I am going to do my part in curtailing the sole use of texting and emailing in order to keep in touch with anyone. I am hungry for real, one on one, face to face, voice to voice social interaction and I am going to re-establish this interaction by limiting my mechanical words on a screen. Its time for me to get back to real interpersonal live communication … to reach out and touch someone with real and personal interaction which will help in boosting my feeling of self worth and simplifying my emotional life in general.
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