Simplify - Part II
Back in 2006, after a short leave of absence, I returned to Myrtle Beach to restart my life. Since returning I have gathered my share of friends and acquaintances … naturally more acquaintances than friends. And for the next several years I felt comfortable with my associations and relationships until 2008.
2008 was a rough year for me. The roughest being with friends and acquaintances. Many of you know about my one friend TW, who literally crucified me to the cross and denounced our friendship because they didn’t like what I had posted on my blog. I haven’t said much about this incident simply because of the pain it caused and I didn’t want to respond bitterly and put myself on the same level as they. With this said, I will only state that the selfishness and heartlessness by which our friendship was terminated opened my eyes, literally! This, out of everything else, caused me a great deal of distress and the rejection was unbearable. Nonetheless, over the past several months I have had time to calm my emotions and today I am satisfied with its outcome. My thoughts are; guess we were nothing more than acquaintances ... never friends.
As for those acquaintances, well, most have shown their true colors too. Once the good times ended and I wasn’t available to help them out, do and go where they wanted, they became nothing more than shadows in my life and eventually dissipated into thin air. On the other hand, out of all those acquaintances, two emerged and since then we have been working towards a friendship. Therefore, it wasn’t all a total loose and their presence in my life has been a wonderful addition.
In this new century, friendships are liken to tricks in the night. Now days one must submit a resume like application which entails ones status, i.e. you must be a certain height, weight and size. (known as hwp). The color of your eyes and hair fits in there somewhere ... why I'm not sure because you change their colors. Most, if not all, want you to be buffed and muscular. Be completely void of emotions and feelings. In other words, friendship has come down to where appearance is more important than substance. It's basically more like a vanity and ego contest ... god forbid if you're prettier than the one that wants your resume. And when it's all done and said, you are more than likely to be nothing more than a notch on someone's bed post then never spoken to or ever seen again. It certainly ain't about friendships anymore! Oh wait, friendships with benefits ... hmm! Shallow! It don't count either. Unless you have an established circle of friends, you might as well hang it up! The rest is all for and about playing (sex). Trust me, the avenue is littered with broken hearts and emotions thus creating a new generation of emotional zombies.
Like a friend of mine stated; “I’d rather have a dozen tricks than a hand full of friends … this way I don’t get hurt” in theory speaks volumes as to how many people view friendships today. Course, I don’t agree with this theory. I am grateful to have some extraordinary friends in my life who have brought a great deal of joy and pleasure into it, which I know for certain you can’t find in tricks. On the other hand, if you constantly get burned from so called friends, yes, perhaps tricks are better. And in my friend's situation, I fully understand his point of view … he has been burned many times over which has reduced his desire for friends to none is better than repeatedly getting hurt. As for me, I find him to be an exceptionally good individual and being a part of his life has been rewarding cause through and through he is a good person, kind of quirky, nonetheless a good soul.
As I continue to simplify my life I have come to a point where I need to feel comfortable within my own being and surroundings. Life is to short to not have it any other way. Therefore, 2009 is about what I want for the rest of my life! I ain't getting any younger and time is a ticking so I'm gong to do it my way. Like the motto I posted at the beginning of the year by George Washington; “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” is how I will judge friendships from this point forward. There will be no resumes ... ain't playing that game anymore. You either like me for who I am or move on. And as for acquaintances, well, we all need a few and it comes with the territory. Nonetheless, the same rules will apply.
The one thing about me is that I have been the one to corral friends and acquaintances. Hey, I can't help it ... I like being liked! Unfortunately, in many situations, I have been the one that has put forth the majority of energy to be in someone’s life. Well, I’ve concluded that this is way to much work for me and it has gotten down right tiresome, tiresome to the point where it has become emotionally draining and I am finish with this whole idea of needing someone in my life ... I don't need anyone, I may want someone, but I don't need anyone.
Don’t get me wrong! In maintaining a friendship I will do my part to nourish it ... to keep it alive and healthy, but the avenue has to be a two way street. If it isn’t then there will be no room for friendship. I am not going to be the sole initiator of any relationship whether it be phone calling, texting, or otherwise. I am worn out and have little left to offer anyone who thinks that they do not have to put forth an effort to be part of my life. In other words, I'm done with rejection. Therefore, friendships is now on my terms and they are; If you don’t want to be a part of my life, not a problem, move on. If you do, then by all means, welcome to it.
The majority of you who are in my life and I consider my friends, please do not read into this like TW did. Oh my god!, I couldn't handle another one of those incidents like I did with TW ... that would be a big NO DOG! Anyway, I am grateful that you are in my life and count my blessings daily. On the other hand, there are still those few who need to take my wishes seriously, otherwise our relationship has to come to an end. I am dead set on my desire to totally simplify my life cause at the end of it I don’t want to have regrets or a wish list that never came true. I’m a good man, a good soul, a good spirit. Yeah, I've got my issues, my quirks, etc. Who the hell doesn't? Nonetheless, I have a great deal to offer anyone who chooses to be in my life, who chooses to be my friend. But this one way street theory is no longer an option or luxury I can afford nor do I want for the rest of my life.
So, if your journey includes a bond of friendship that is equal in every way then my god hop aboard, because living life to it's fullest without insincerity is where I'm headed, and I will certainly welcome the company of anyone who is honest at heart, true in spirit, and is seeking a bond of friendship that will carry into eternity. After all, heaven begins right here on earth, starting today, beginning right now.
Rewritten 01/16/09
Back in 2006, after a short leave of absence, I returned to Myrtle Beach to restart my life. Since returning I have gathered my share of friends and acquaintances … naturally more acquaintances than friends. And for the next several years I felt comfortable with my associations and relationships until 2008.
2008 was a rough year for me. The roughest being with friends and acquaintances. Many of you know about my one friend TW, who literally crucified me to the cross and denounced our friendship because they didn’t like what I had posted on my blog. I haven’t said much about this incident simply because of the pain it caused and I didn’t want to respond bitterly and put myself on the same level as they. With this said, I will only state that the selfishness and heartlessness by which our friendship was terminated opened my eyes, literally! This, out of everything else, caused me a great deal of distress and the rejection was unbearable. Nonetheless, over the past several months I have had time to calm my emotions and today I am satisfied with its outcome. My thoughts are; guess we were nothing more than acquaintances ... never friends.
As for those acquaintances, well, most have shown their true colors too. Once the good times ended and I wasn’t available to help them out, do and go where they wanted, they became nothing more than shadows in my life and eventually dissipated into thin air. On the other hand, out of all those acquaintances, two emerged and since then we have been working towards a friendship. Therefore, it wasn’t all a total loose and their presence in my life has been a wonderful addition.
In this new century, friendships are liken to tricks in the night. Now days one must submit a resume like application which entails ones status, i.e. you must be a certain height, weight and size. (known as hwp). The color of your eyes and hair fits in there somewhere ... why I'm not sure because you change their colors. Most, if not all, want you to be buffed and muscular. Be completely void of emotions and feelings. In other words, friendship has come down to where appearance is more important than substance. It's basically more like a vanity and ego contest ... god forbid if you're prettier than the one that wants your resume. And when it's all done and said, you are more than likely to be nothing more than a notch on someone's bed post then never spoken to or ever seen again. It certainly ain't about friendships anymore! Oh wait, friendships with benefits ... hmm! Shallow! It don't count either. Unless you have an established circle of friends, you might as well hang it up! The rest is all for and about playing (sex). Trust me, the avenue is littered with broken hearts and emotions thus creating a new generation of emotional zombies.
Like a friend of mine stated; “I’d rather have a dozen tricks than a hand full of friends … this way I don’t get hurt” in theory speaks volumes as to how many people view friendships today. Course, I don’t agree with this theory. I am grateful to have some extraordinary friends in my life who have brought a great deal of joy and pleasure into it, which I know for certain you can’t find in tricks. On the other hand, if you constantly get burned from so called friends, yes, perhaps tricks are better. And in my friend's situation, I fully understand his point of view … he has been burned many times over which has reduced his desire for friends to none is better than repeatedly getting hurt. As for me, I find him to be an exceptionally good individual and being a part of his life has been rewarding cause through and through he is a good person, kind of quirky, nonetheless a good soul.
As I continue to simplify my life I have come to a point where I need to feel comfortable within my own being and surroundings. Life is to short to not have it any other way. Therefore, 2009 is about what I want for the rest of my life! I ain't getting any younger and time is a ticking so I'm gong to do it my way. Like the motto I posted at the beginning of the year by George Washington; “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” is how I will judge friendships from this point forward. There will be no resumes ... ain't playing that game anymore. You either like me for who I am or move on. And as for acquaintances, well, we all need a few and it comes with the territory. Nonetheless, the same rules will apply.
The one thing about me is that I have been the one to corral friends and acquaintances. Hey, I can't help it ... I like being liked! Unfortunately, in many situations, I have been the one that has put forth the majority of energy to be in someone’s life. Well, I’ve concluded that this is way to much work for me and it has gotten down right tiresome, tiresome to the point where it has become emotionally draining and I am finish with this whole idea of needing someone in my life ... I don't need anyone, I may want someone, but I don't need anyone.
Don’t get me wrong! In maintaining a friendship I will do my part to nourish it ... to keep it alive and healthy, but the avenue has to be a two way street. If it isn’t then there will be no room for friendship. I am not going to be the sole initiator of any relationship whether it be phone calling, texting, or otherwise. I am worn out and have little left to offer anyone who thinks that they do not have to put forth an effort to be part of my life. In other words, I'm done with rejection. Therefore, friendships is now on my terms and they are; If you don’t want to be a part of my life, not a problem, move on. If you do, then by all means, welcome to it.
The majority of you who are in my life and I consider my friends, please do not read into this like TW did. Oh my god!, I couldn't handle another one of those incidents like I did with TW ... that would be a big NO DOG! Anyway, I am grateful that you are in my life and count my blessings daily. On the other hand, there are still those few who need to take my wishes seriously, otherwise our relationship has to come to an end. I am dead set on my desire to totally simplify my life cause at the end of it I don’t want to have regrets or a wish list that never came true. I’m a good man, a good soul, a good spirit. Yeah, I've got my issues, my quirks, etc. Who the hell doesn't? Nonetheless, I have a great deal to offer anyone who chooses to be in my life, who chooses to be my friend. But this one way street theory is no longer an option or luxury I can afford nor do I want for the rest of my life.
So, if your journey includes a bond of friendship that is equal in every way then my god hop aboard, because living life to it's fullest without insincerity is where I'm headed, and I will certainly welcome the company of anyone who is honest at heart, true in spirit, and is seeking a bond of friendship that will carry into eternity. After all, heaven begins right here on earth, starting today, beginning right now.
Rewritten 01/16/09
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