When someone helps you out is it right for them to throw it in your face when they get angry or when things don’t go their way?
Yesterday I help my friend, George, by taking him to pick up an order at Best Buy. While he was retrieving his order I informed him that I would be in the computer area and when he was done to come meet me there.
A few minutes later George appeared and informed me that the order was ready and waiting at the front door. He then turned and walked away. A few seconds later he returned and emphatically informed me that the guy holding the merchandise was getting pissed so we had to go. I told him that I would be right there. Unfortunately, my response did not set well with him? As he stormed off he sarcastically muttered under his breath; “I don’t need this”. From this point forward things did not go well!
Once in the car, I reminded George that customer service would have held the merchandise until we were ready to leave. I mean, we both work in retail/customer service and holding someone’s purchases while they continue to shop is a given … no big deal! Well, he flew of with his mouth saying; “after all I do for you this is how you treat me?” I became livid!
First off, I did George a favor … I provided the car and I was driving. Therefore, to get pissed off at me cause I took a little time for myself, in my opinion, was out of line … way out of line. After all, I was doing him a favor and for him to get all queeny and bitchy with me was totally uncalled for. Specially in public! I don’t play the queen card not matter what and I certainly will not put up with it!
Secondly, one of my pet peeves is having what someone has done for me thrown up into my face in a moment of anger or when the other person feels they aren't getting their way.
I will admit that George has helped me out a great deal for which I am grateful. However, he has this nasty habit of “reminding” me of all he’s done when he gets angry or doesn’t get his way. He has done this numerous times and I have told him numerous times that if he ever does this again I would withdraw from our friendship.
I go by the rule my mother has taught me … “Do for others without expecting. That is the true meaning of giving.”
I will do for you whatever I humanly can without ever expecting anything in return unless you promise to return it … i.e. borrowing money, etc. If I can, I give so you will not be without, and I give without ever expecting to receive it back. And I certainly do not keep count of someones good deeds and in a moment of anger remind the individual all that I've done for them.
Frankly, I hate having to ask for help … it hurts my pride to admit from time to time that I need help. Therefore, sometimes I go without just so I don’t have to ask. But every now and then a situation will arise where I’ve needed help. And had it not been for my buddy, Steven, my friend, George, and others who have come to my aid I wouldn’t have been able to survive. Thus, it goes without saying, I have always been and always will be grateful for the help each has given. On the other hand, to have someone’s help angrily thrown in my face, not only hurts my ego and pride, it also makes me feel like shit.
For the past four years whenever Steven or George has gotten angry they have never failed to remind me of the help they’ve provided. In doing this, they have caused me to feel guilty and inadequate. And each time, their anger would throw me into a cycle of depression where I would undergo a period of self-loathing. I truly hated these dark times!
In today’s world, it seems as though when someone helps you it also includes some kind of self-serving motivation either in the form of ownership and expectations. In other wards, when someone helps you they tend to think that in some way you owe them, thus you do as they say or wish. If you don’t comply they have no qualms about reminding you. And at this juncture life can become pretty nasty as it did in this particular situation.
From this point forward, I refuse to allow someone else to make me feel guilty or inadequate over needing help, and I’m certainly not going fall into a depressive state of being cause someone is angry over the fact that they had to help me. This, in my book, is drama that I will not put up with from anyone ever again.
Life is way to short to receive helped from those who think they can treat you anyway they wish, specially if it entails a buddy or a friend. I would rather go without than deal with their emotional outbursts and condemnation.
To answer the question: When someone helps you is it right for them to throw it in your face when they get angry or when things don’t go their way? My answer is, NO! Hurting someone this way is unacceptable.
As my mother has taught me: “Do for others without expecting. That is the true meaning of giving." Sound advise I would say, and advise that I wish both Steven and George would consider before the next time they fly off the mouth with: "After all I did for you this is how you treat me? Because the next time just might be the last time I interact with them.
Yesterday I help my friend, George, by taking him to pick up an order at Best Buy. While he was retrieving his order I informed him that I would be in the computer area and when he was done to come meet me there.
A few minutes later George appeared and informed me that the order was ready and waiting at the front door. He then turned and walked away. A few seconds later he returned and emphatically informed me that the guy holding the merchandise was getting pissed so we had to go. I told him that I would be right there. Unfortunately, my response did not set well with him? As he stormed off he sarcastically muttered under his breath; “I don’t need this”. From this point forward things did not go well!
Once in the car, I reminded George that customer service would have held the merchandise until we were ready to leave. I mean, we both work in retail/customer service and holding someone’s purchases while they continue to shop is a given … no big deal! Well, he flew of with his mouth saying; “after all I do for you this is how you treat me?” I became livid!
First off, I did George a favor … I provided the car and I was driving. Therefore, to get pissed off at me cause I took a little time for myself, in my opinion, was out of line … way out of line. After all, I was doing him a favor and for him to get all queeny and bitchy with me was totally uncalled for. Specially in public! I don’t play the queen card not matter what and I certainly will not put up with it!
Secondly, one of my pet peeves is having what someone has done for me thrown up into my face in a moment of anger or when the other person feels they aren't getting their way.
I will admit that George has helped me out a great deal for which I am grateful. However, he has this nasty habit of “reminding” me of all he’s done when he gets angry or doesn’t get his way. He has done this numerous times and I have told him numerous times that if he ever does this again I would withdraw from our friendship.
I go by the rule my mother has taught me … “Do for others without expecting. That is the true meaning of giving.”
I will do for you whatever I humanly can without ever expecting anything in return unless you promise to return it … i.e. borrowing money, etc. If I can, I give so you will not be without, and I give without ever expecting to receive it back. And I certainly do not keep count of someones good deeds and in a moment of anger remind the individual all that I've done for them.
Frankly, I hate having to ask for help … it hurts my pride to admit from time to time that I need help. Therefore, sometimes I go without just so I don’t have to ask. But every now and then a situation will arise where I’ve needed help. And had it not been for my buddy, Steven, my friend, George, and others who have come to my aid I wouldn’t have been able to survive. Thus, it goes without saying, I have always been and always will be grateful for the help each has given. On the other hand, to have someone’s help angrily thrown in my face, not only hurts my ego and pride, it also makes me feel like shit.
For the past four years whenever Steven or George has gotten angry they have never failed to remind me of the help they’ve provided. In doing this, they have caused me to feel guilty and inadequate. And each time, their anger would throw me into a cycle of depression where I would undergo a period of self-loathing. I truly hated these dark times!
In today’s world, it seems as though when someone helps you it also includes some kind of self-serving motivation either in the form of ownership and expectations. In other wards, when someone helps you they tend to think that in some way you owe them, thus you do as they say or wish. If you don’t comply they have no qualms about reminding you. And at this juncture life can become pretty nasty as it did in this particular situation.
From this point forward, I refuse to allow someone else to make me feel guilty or inadequate over needing help, and I’m certainly not going fall into a depressive state of being cause someone is angry over the fact that they had to help me. This, in my book, is drama that I will not put up with from anyone ever again.
Life is way to short to receive helped from those who think they can treat you anyway they wish, specially if it entails a buddy or a friend. I would rather go without than deal with their emotional outbursts and condemnation.
To answer the question: When someone helps you is it right for them to throw it in your face when they get angry or when things don’t go their way? My answer is, NO! Hurting someone this way is unacceptable.
As my mother has taught me: “Do for others without expecting. That is the true meaning of giving." Sound advise I would say, and advise that I wish both Steven and George would consider before the next time they fly off the mouth with: "After all I did for you this is how you treat me? Because the next time just might be the last time I interact with them.
Until tomorrow ..
Revised 07/14/11
Revised 07/14/11
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