Ever notice when certain Friends call you’re always there for them? When they call you set aside your time to listen to their issues, problems and distresses. When they need comforting you drop everything in order to be at their side to help them pull through whatever challenges might be undermining their day. In other wards, with certain Friends you’re always Johnny on the spot … ready and willing to be their for them 24/7.
I guess I’m pretty naïve, perhaps even stupid. My willingness to be there for my Friends comes without thought. After all, they are my Friends and that’s what Friends do for each other … to be there come rain or shine, good or bad, inconvenience or not, etc., etc. As the good book states; do unto others as you would have them do to you (sorry … paraphrased) is basically how I live and treat others … it makes for a much more peaceful coexistence. Well, over the years I’ve learned, slowly I might add, that with some Friendships the relationship is not always a two way street. In this particular instance the relationship is pretty much a one way boulevard … exciting to be around, enjoy the company, cherish the time together, but the pot holes are a bitch. And in more instances than not, what the good book instructs simply does not apply.
This past weekend I was caught off guard by a particular friend who acted inappropriately by abusing my hospitality. Plus, emotionally I was in a slump cause my job search isn’t going as good as I had hoped. And when I reached out, specially to one particular “Friend”, I felt brushed aside. Not once did they as much as take the time to pick up the phone to call and let me know that I wasn’t alone. Just a phone call would have made all the difference!
After some soul searching I’ve concluded that it’s time to stop being about others first. Yes, I will be there for my Friends, but this willingness has to be a two way street. Like everyone else, I have my needs. I need my strokes too. But if I’m going to be an as needed Friend then this type of relationship will have to take a backseat.
Neglecting myself for the sake of others ain’t happening anymore. The least my “Friend” could have done was call … it’s not like their life is all that busy that they can’t take two seconds to acknowledge my needs and if busy let me know that they will get back with me. I’m tired of being ignored!
Until Tomorrow ...
Updated 10/25/09
I guess I’m pretty naïve, perhaps even stupid. My willingness to be there for my Friends comes without thought. After all, they are my Friends and that’s what Friends do for each other … to be there come rain or shine, good or bad, inconvenience or not, etc., etc. As the good book states; do unto others as you would have them do to you (sorry … paraphrased) is basically how I live and treat others … it makes for a much more peaceful coexistence. Well, over the years I’ve learned, slowly I might add, that with some Friendships the relationship is not always a two way street. In this particular instance the relationship is pretty much a one way boulevard … exciting to be around, enjoy the company, cherish the time together, but the pot holes are a bitch. And in more instances than not, what the good book instructs simply does not apply.
This past weekend I was caught off guard by a particular friend who acted inappropriately by abusing my hospitality. Plus, emotionally I was in a slump cause my job search isn’t going as good as I had hoped. And when I reached out, specially to one particular “Friend”, I felt brushed aside. Not once did they as much as take the time to pick up the phone to call and let me know that I wasn’t alone. Just a phone call would have made all the difference!
After some soul searching I’ve concluded that it’s time to stop being about others first. Yes, I will be there for my Friends, but this willingness has to be a two way street. Like everyone else, I have my needs. I need my strokes too. But if I’m going to be an as needed Friend then this type of relationship will have to take a backseat.
Neglecting myself for the sake of others ain’t happening anymore. The least my “Friend” could have done was call … it’s not like their life is all that busy that they can’t take two seconds to acknowledge my needs and if busy let me know that they will get back with me. I’m tired of being ignored!
Until Tomorrow ...
Updated 10/25/09
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